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Barre Fight
Isabelle5

The woman wears her age badly,
 1
as if she woke to it suddenly,
 2
runs a spotted hand through hair
 3
gone silver over night.
 4
 
 
Shoeless, with bony shoulders,
 5
dancer's body in hand-me-down
 6
gossamer skin, muscles
 7
crying out to flex and stretch.
 8
 
 
She spends Christmas watching
 9
reruns of the Nutcracker,
 10
remembering the feel of toe shoes
 11
and resin and the whispery sound
 12
of a curtain rising.
 13
 
 
Stepping from the couch,
 14
it takes her a moment
 15
to get her joints moving
 16
and her resolution for
 17
the coming year is
 18
to do the splits once more.
 19
 
 
She sits back down,
 20
forgetting what urgent thing
 21
beckoned, hopefully watching life
 22
from the wings,
 23
 
 
waiting to be asked
 24
for another dance.
 25

11 Jan 12

Rated 9.7 (8.8) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10
Inactive (4): 1, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10

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Comments:

solid. I should probably say more...but I can't right now.
 — PaleHorse

melancholy, nicely rendered for the most part.  replace 'more' with 'last' in 25?  it would have a feeling of greater finality and I think that's what you're going for.. what say you?
 — JKWeb

Thanks.  I can do that, JK.
 — Isabelle5

I changed it to another instead of last.  This woman is resolute about turning things around as much as she can.  There may yet be dances in her future and limber joints.  
 — Isabelle5

she can always dance alone
 — unknown

if this was 'written', term used loosely, by mando-nyuknyuk-lyn, i'd love to see the title changed to 'barf, a-ight?', then when the old dancer wakes up to age suddenly, she can empty herself into the toilet, and ponder her reflection in the mottled water thinking 'why oh why did i let age buy me those drinks last night? everyone knows age is just a horny perv who won't call me back after i've spent all morning cooking bacon and eggs in a haze of mutual headaches punctuated by awkward silences and chewing noises, and damn my eyes if age always chews with its disgusting mouth open. evelyn warned me about age, but oh no, i wouldn't listen, would i? well who can blame me? age bought all those scarves from me, and sounded so nice, i couldn't believe the rumours might be true, and so what? i have needs too, dammit! but then i parked my car on the neighbour's cat, in age's backyard, and your smile was never mine in the first place"
 — unknown

Thanks, Mike.  As usual, you make no sense and do not help the poem at all.
 — Isabelle5

i didn't comment on this "poem", because it doesn't really matter as writing... there's nothing in it that the original poems you copied haven't already been commented on. if you really think that this crap comment above, posted by an unk, is my writing, then you're scheming too much for advantage, not really reading.
 — cadmium

nice poem, full of detail and a picture
 — useine

Dear Unknown, there are no drinks involved, it's not that kind of barre.
 — Isabelle5

Mike, it matters to me as writing, doesn't that count?  It conveys something to every woman who has been a dancer and one day, realizes she can't even put her palms on the floor anymore.

You don't have to like it but please don't disrespect the fact that it's a poem, by a poet, it is writing and it counts.
 — Isabelle5

Nice work, Isabelle.  I suspect all women over 40, former dancers or not, will find a bit of themselves here.
 — sybarite

Really like this Isabelle it has strong charaterisations and reminds me of someone I know.
 — Caducus

remove "badly" and this would work better. flow-wise...and would take that judgemental sting out from the voicing.
 — DeformedLion

good poem to come across on this change of years
 — DeformedLion

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