poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Artist's Eye
CaseyPowers

The other day
 1
I nearly crashed
 2
startled by
 3
shadows
 4
cast
 5
 
 
across the highway
 6
 
 
and streaks of
 7
warpaint
 8
on the sky's face
 9
 
 
Gloomy rolls
 10
of storm clouds
 11
 
 
in the distance
 12
 
 
reeled me in
 13
and passing traffic
 14
disappeared
 15
 
 
For a moment
 16
it was just road
 17
 
 
and me
 18
 
 
light and shades
 19
 
 
my thoughts of
 20
mixing paint
 21

19 Feb 12

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this is both kind of lamer and kind of good -- the good part is that it shows in poetry-style that moment of dissolution of ego, where you become what you see and stop being a painter at all. the bad part in this is that the moment is so much more intense, and you'd paint it so, then your writing style is showing... the poem is written in catalog language, not in sense language -- the little words may mean something in everyday talk -- "gloomy" and all, but the connections between the phrases, the transitional passages, are muddy: "for a moment it was just road"... it's kind of prosaic at heart, even if your heart stood still in the moment. i wonder then who this was written for? was it that kind of thing where you wanted 'them' to finally understand what happens to you while you paint?

i think maybe you understand painting more than you understand poetry writing.
 — cadmium

I would like to paint more, but time constraints are an issue.  Writing doesn't take as much time, which is an issue with a toddler--or maybe I just thinks it takes less time, which may be part of the problem.  Either way, I do enjoy both painting and writing.  You might be right, that I understand painting more; however, that doesn't mean that I cannot grow as a writer.
 — CaseyPowers

well, you can grow as a writer, and i'm not saying that and i resent you're implication -- i'm showing you only what the poem does or doesn't do for me, and i'm a painter too. when i paint, i fall inside painting and color --- when i write, i fall inside melody and wording. your broken line-breaks suggest to me that you have a feeling for rhythm and timing -- it's the same in painting, where you make two colors talk with each other -- reducing one down so that its intensity doesn't wash out the other color. those are things we do as painters, and as writers we control how much we say and how we say it -- taking out 'fact' things which wash out the important emotional issue. a painting is a picture of an emotion, and so is a poem. neither tells a story, though the viewer will want one and make up one to fit what he's seeing. in a painting the painter sees figures in outline, things that look like things, and down-plays or works them to find the painting in the painting. it's the same with writing a poem.
 — cadmium

ignore the pedophile cadmium /bauer.

it is not an artist, nor has nayting to say about creativity.

it is a failed human being. it will use you then turn on you and try to feed off your positive energy.

it is a parasite.
 — unknown

I actually wasn't implying anything.  Thank you.  I find your analogy helpful.  I will remember that the next time I write.
 — CaseyPowers

you have been warned, Casey.

on your own head be it.
 — unknown

Hmmm....Have you heard of the TV show Monsters Inside of Me?  It is about parasites.  Unknown person do you have any feedback about the poem or just about Cadmium?  I have seen hoopla about Cadmium all over the place, so I have been warned.  I just would like to use the site sometimes.  I enter at my own risk.
 — CaseyPowers

Yes, use the site. It is a site for you to use, but be warned about the schizo-psycho predatory nature of Cadmium / Bauer.

The moment you that natural disinclination to accept his words about you and your poetry will be the moment he will turn on you and stalk you and abuse you.

It is very wise to simply ignore it when it gets like this and continue to post as you will.

The true poets will come to you.
 — unknown

in the past month or so Cadmium has forced at least two new comers to the site to leave as he would say "because they could not take serious crits"

it was not the crits, it was the stalking and abuse.
 — unknown

I myself took down poems too in the past, but I have learned now not to take it to heart.  I can understand where you are coming from.  I wish I had been given the warning then, but I can take the abuse now...those other comments today really were not bad, so I am taking it as it is.  I was really offended before by a princess comment.  LOL.
 — CaseyPowers

the point for a good critic is to show that the dialog is about art and not a personal attack. sometimes, to get the writer into a dialog you have to catch their attention -- they're so used to people only liking them for their haircut or their content that they can't believe that anyone would read them at heart as a writer of poetry, an inventor of poetry instead of the flake that everyone seems to treat them as.
 — cadmium

and with that a splash of cadmium...
 — CaseyPowers

or I should say dab
 — CaseyPowers

the problem with bauer is he says he is a critic that talks about art and it is never a personal attack... but then why does he put so many personal attack comments in his personal attacks?

the phrase "full of shit" can be applied to him
 — unknown

i think that people who haven't had a lot of experience with other artists and poets are at a disadvantage here -- they're going to treat everyone as though they too were trailer-trash knowing nothing but what they see in the movies and read on t.v.

you've been critiqued and commented to, and you're treating it as though you had some choice in the matter as to whether you understood it or not. you haven't -- you're either totally involved in art and poetry or you're just a slacker using art and poetry to keep from being bored. there's no reason someone like that would have anything useful to say to a poet or artist.
 — cadmium

the poet/artist always has a choice.. and that choice it to ignore the critics.

the best artists always ignore their critics, and continue to produce great art.
 — unknown

see, the bullyboy tactics of bauer come through at last.

he says you have no choice if you decide to deal with critiques or not.

this is his abuse. this is his parasitic nature.
 — unknown

cadmium = the doctor mengele of poetry
 — unknown

not the best advice, since we're all critics on each others work too. or, at least the ones who aren't just here as slacker unks needing any kind of conversation at all.
 — cadmium

Who is being yelled at here?  I didn't do anything except say I would use the analogy next time I write.  
 — CaseyPowers

i'm on the unk's case, because they shotgun anyone creative, trying to turn everyone here into barbie-doll poets for their ken-doll bedroom.
 — cadmium

remember, Casey, you haven't ANY CHOICE if you decide to ignore a critique or a critic.

bauers own words.

you have already been bullied.
 — unknown

that's right, once you post the poem it belongs to all of us. and, an unk's poem is even more vulnerable, since anyone can reprint it in some 'zine. best to stay with a working name here, both so we can see where you're coming from as a writer over the years, and to protect your poems from people like this guy, who's only trying to get you to post as unk so he can enter your stuff in some contest under his own name.
 — cadmium

wether the poem "belongs to all of us" is irellevant to the poet deciding to ignore or take notice of a critic or critique.

you are a vicious and cowardly bully, bauer, using words to abuse and threaten other poets here.

the poet does NOT have to respond to you or any other critic, and by not responding does not make them less creative, less interested in art or literature or poetry. that is your values, not every one else.

the greatest artists ignore the critics.

the critic is a failed artist which is why they are a critic and not an artist.
 — unknown

the reality is that the author has no control over how we read it anyway. the only hope is to be so deeply creative when you write the poem that you'll exist in every moment of it.

when someone posts a poem to a site called poetry critical, it's expected that it's not going to be some place where people only can lamely say, 'this was really interesting. i once had a toaster too, but i never thought to write a poem about it!! giggle-giggle'
 — cadmium

http://www.yo utube.com/watch?v=nYueYUJzv4E
 — cadmium

the greatest artists always write for and against other artists, because those are the only people capable of first understanding a new poetic or pictorial language. the critic is an artist, and for lessor arts -- movies and manga and pop music, the lesser wits copy this critical move they see the artists make and call themselves 'critics' too. those are the people who make 'critic' into a nasty word -- just like these unks: having a life off this poem by talking to you about me. what kind of creep would say that critics are worthless and then spend their whole time here as a personality critic -- someone critiquing the attitude of another member, rather than the creative ability that went into a poem?
 — cadmium

interesting dynamics to all this
 — CaseyPowers

Who would have ever thought there would be this much drama on a poetry site.  
 — CaseyPowers

"the reality is that the author has no control over how we read it anyway."

tnat's not the issue. the reader will read, and the poet will write.

the issue is what you stated earlier about the poet having NO CHOICE, and the poet always has a choice.

you do not determine if the poet chooses to ignore you as a critic.

that's the reality.
 — unknown

"the greatest artists always write for and against other artists"


not they don't, you pretentious cunt.

the greatest artists always do it for The Art.

this is why you're not an artist. you're looking for acceptance and acclaim from your peers, you desperately want to be known, to have your name spoken, to be a source instead of the periphery nobody you actually are.

you have no idea about art or artists, which is why you are just a critic.
 — unknown

critic equates to parasite. they live through others works because they cannot produce their own.
 — unknown

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