poetry critical

online poetry workshop



when we were poets
hank

we grew out of it then
 1
poems
 2
it was our field it was a place
 3
where we spread our piss
 4
our trunk of tree
 5
our plot of grass
 6
liberally for a bit we sprayed
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words around to defend our bit
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i'm left now with a land rubbed raw
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elephants, lumber and rip
 10
bison, pass and knaw rip
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birds come and slip lip rip
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all fruit from the world, all is bare
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what is left for locusts?
 14
what is left but dry ground
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i fret to step with my bare feet
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feet that are delicate
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upon such scorched soil
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scratchy pebbly wasted soil
 19
though i like the desert underfoot
 20
i crush a couple fish not into mud
 21
grind them into sand again
 22

12 Mar 12

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you are because you create. what you love is what you create. when you were a poet, you were looking for love -- you were creating love and poetry was just a transactional means to an end. it makes for chatty, schemey, poetry, even if it gets you laid sometimes. poetry is the only way words are used with truth and beauty... all other wording is just to get stuff and keep people away from you. how much stuff do you really need?
 — cadmium

when we were poets, we ate birdseeds that flowered in cobbled jardinieres, where geraniums got along with dandelions and birds and butterflies had plenty to eat.

we were innocent then.  

now.  now, it is best not mention what we eat.  
 — unknown

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 — nanimu

nice poem. loved the last three lines especially.
 — varun

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