poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Poetry in America
Barranto33

In the land of the free
 1
poetic licenses are cheap.
 2
The subway carts run
 3
on inkpen oil written fast
 4
by hamsters wearing blue berets.
 5
 
 
Words are stacked like books,
 6
oldy moldy worm-food never read.
 7
 
 
The halls of study glow with light
 8
from blinking LCD's,
 9
where nine year olds
 10
shit out master crafts
 11
that no one sees.
 12
 
 
Cardboard tomes are too heavy
 13
for their sausage fingers, stuffing
 14
sausage in their mouths. It's best
 15
to get a kindle. It comes with games.
 16
 
 
You can play them
 17
while you rest
 18
your tired index finger.
 19

11 Apr 12

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modern poetry writing is more a function of literacy than of talent. poetry has been taught as a accessible way to express ideas and feelings -- accessible, in that the curriculum didn't really teach us how to write an essay or story -- how to develop an idea. and, why would it, when the big idea is supposed to be wonderful us?

but, i don't think you've written a poem -- and, why could you, since the subject is blog-prepackaged and of no real substance. you don't say what poetry is, and that's the weakness of whining about what someone else's poetry isn't.

you need to focus inward, find the intuition that puts words exactly where your feelings are. you've let the bus station bench become the bus. you're too old to be that stoned in public.
 — cadmium

Cadmium, you're funny. :)
 — Barranto33

what about the crit part, though? like, why do YOU think that this is poetry and not word-engineering architectural modeling on a paaaage?

need more wording-consciousness from you, because i can't see what your eyes and face are doing when you write 'funny'.
 — cadmium

Lol. Cadmium.
 — Barranto33

ignore the pedophile cadmium / James Bauer
 — unknown

yes, well the two of you should take a shower together and laugh about how serious some people take something as worthless as poetry.
 — cadmium

Lol.
 — Barranto33

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