poetry critical

online poetry workshop



50 Shades of HEY!
aforbing

There's nothing
 1
romantic
 2
about being
 3
bound,
 4
banged and
 5
broken.
 6
 
 
Neither is there
 7
anything sexy
 8
about being tied up
 9
with your spirit brought
 10
down.
 11
 
 
I'll leave
 12
bondage for the
 13
bevy of
 14
bitches who've only just
 15
caught on.
 16
 
 
I choose to come undone.
 17

21 Jun 12

Rated 8.5 (9) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 9
Inactive (7): 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(231 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Who you callin' bitch?
 — unknown

The first two stanza have some merit in them as observations. I think the third is interesting as it seems to suggest it knows more than the "bitches" who have only just caught on.
 — jenn

lol, I'm reading that book right now.
 — sybarite

^^^ Based on what Jenn has said on the msg boards, I pity you, Syb!
Jenn says it is "tripe" and a waste of valuable time that could be spent reading other things.  Join the thread and put your two cents in... Love to hear your take on the book.
Thanks for the read! :) ~forbster
 — aforbing

It's a book to be read for titillation rather than it's literary merit, for sure.  
 — sybarite

...and for the record....it's not all that titillating either.  Sort of a harlequin romance in a leather cover...
 — sybarite

Makes some cool points and the line breaks seem somewhat effective.
 — gs_edgeman

I would not have a period end of line 6 so line 7 doesn't have a cap on Nor.  Nor is a connecting word, like a comma.  

Based on the comments on the board, this seems to sum up the book.  I think I'll pass on reading that, but this poem is very good.  I totally agree with line 17!  I'll bring my own leather goods to the party!
 — Isabelle5

IMC:  I agree... I'll take my own medicine and fix the comma/CAP situation.  
In fact, I'm choosing a DIFFERENT word entirely.  
 — aforbing

This is great aforbing. The last line really is perfect.
 — Ananke

the last line sings!!! well undone...
 — AlchemiA

Quippy and fun. I like. A much better commentary than pure poetry, but who cares. It's honest about what it's honestly doing. I applaud honesty in any form.
 — PaleHorse

"if you want to destroy my sweater
hold this thread as i walk away"
 — unknown

this doesnt do it for me.

ps.

i find being bound very romantic. free your mind and your body. I know, the irony
 — unknown

Bumpers
 — unknown

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 — unknown

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