poetry critical

online poetry workshop



yesterday minus tomorrow
unknown

when today comes
 1
with long legs and red lipstick
 2
smack her on the ass
 3
and buy her a drink.
 4
let one thing
 5
lead to another
 6
and forget yesterday
 7
because no matter what-
 8
she can never exist.
 9
quit bankrupting life's currency  
 10
by squandering ticks on the clock
 11
trying to figure how many
 12
tomorrows remain
 13
(i promise, there's just the right amount).
 14
have your way with today
 15
take her back to your place
 16
ravage her body in search of asylum.
 17
let the bedsprings screech with strain,
 18
as they sing the day's song.
 19
when she finishes her cigarette
 20
tell her to leave the money
 21
on the nightstand
 22
where yesterday left hers.
 23

4 Sep 12

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
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Comments:

nice write. maybe omit lines 4&5?
 — unknown

this is a great poem ;)
 — dax

fantastic
 — rivergood

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