poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Kisses
unknown

Hello
 1
I love you
 2
the sun is shining and lovely, warm.
 3
 
 
I dream sometimes
 4
but most times I just sit and wonder.
 5
I hope your day is good.
 6
 
 
One day years from now
 7
we will sit together and have tea
 8
and wonder why kisses feel so sweet
 9
with cuddles
 10

5 Oct 12

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
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Comments:

this is funny to see, and can't really be critiqued as a poem, and it's nice to see here. it's almost exactly sincere, and maybe that's a hundred times more sincere than all the gothic twists and plastic ginsbarf odes posted post after post.

this fragments because there's no harmony between the three, only a shared idea that nice is a nice thing. to make it a poem, it has to have some rhetorical tension.

like, for stanza two:

but, most times i sit and wonder:
i dream sometimes...
i hope your day is good.


this maybe puts the voice into an inner and thoughtful mode, and what that means is that the reader can slip in and use some imagination to see who and what the poet is and is making of the world inside this poem. displaying feelings is fine, but an emotion comes when the reader sublimates all the feelings displayed into an their own world. true, one can say, 'it's just like that!', and maybe that's a happy-face poem. but, to show vulnerability is to help the reader say, 'ah, i remember just this in my own life', and is maybe more real as poetry. remember that there are people here -- and, not just twenty-something kids -- who have never really been in love and won't know self-less happiness when it smacks them in the face.
 — cadmium

Thankyou for the lovely critique!
 — unknown

I dream sometimes
but most times top buffets near me I just sit and wonder.
I hope your day is good
 — unknown

This is an amazing piece of poetry. The writer has described his feelings in some simple, and few lines. Of course, it is a very lovely feeling to have a kid, or an essayshark review from your loved ones. One day we will sit together and have tea, this line my top favorite because it describes the feeling of a wait. Thanks a lot for such interesting poetry once again.
 — unknown

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2018.4.24yangpeng
 — yangpeng

Bundesliga six consecutive champions debut in Zhuhai! On April 17-18, 2018,NFL Jerseys all top clubs, leagues, countries and continents including the Bayern Munich China Company, gathered in Zhuhai and participated in the Soccerex Global Football Summit China Conference.NFL Cheap Sports Jerseys The total number of directors of Bayern Munich China Manager Ruben Caspar attended the event and described topics such as Bayern’s China strategy and helping Chinese youth football training.
The theme of Rubin Caspar's interview session was "Professionalism and Sustainability - Bayern's Road to China".Adidas NHL Jersey He recalled that in the 19 months since he came to China, the development of the Chinese football industry has been more imaginable than he had imagined before. Promptly,Adidas NBA Swingman Jersey he was very satisfied with Bayern's business in China. CFL Jersey Bayern is the first European football club to set up a subsidiary in China. Stitched NCAA Hockey Jersey“The club executives are aware of the need to open an office in China. Bayern’s main goal is to have more exchanges with our fans and followers in China.” Wen said,Flex Base Baseball Jersey “In addition, the establishment of Chinese companies is very important to our club’s sponsors. Almost half of Audi’s profits come from China,Soccer Club Jersey and Adidas opens three new stores in China on average. Bayern’s establishment of a company in China is undoubtedly a great deal for their development in the Chinese market. In addition, Lu Wen also talked about the new partners after opening a company in China in an interview with China News Service, AFP and Guangdong TV.Women Jersey In particular, he successively formed partnerships with Tongji University and Tsinghua University. Youth Jersey Bayern hopes to Use your own professional knowledge to help Chinese football develop better.In China, Bayern is undoubtedly a resounding brand. The club has always been committed to establishing closer ties with fans. Today, Bayern not only owns the most active online media, but also organizes a number of offline events. Last summer, Bayern China Basically, every day, Bayern has 10 to 25 events. Such as the Oriental Pearl Tower, Nike  Pas Cher Outlet Bayern players jumped square dance with the fans, which triggered a huge sensation.The visit to the Zhuhai Summit included not only Ruben Caspar and other colleagues of Bayern Munich China. Bernie Berry also carried the Bundesliga salad plate and became a unique landscape during the summit. During the summit, the Bayern booth was in front of the booth. Adidas shoe Visitors to the crowd are endless and people have taken pictures with Bernie and Bayern Bundesliga. Many people also know that Bayern had just won six consecutive championships in the Bundesliga. They also came to watch the Bundesliga champions' festivities, Bayern. The popularity in China is evident.
Bayern's season is over for more than a month and this season has been a success for Bayern.Nik e Air Force One In addition to the Bundesliga's unprecedented six-game succession, the German Cup and the Champions League have also reached the finals and the semifinals respectively. Bayern has also made a successful start in China. “A year and a half since the establishment of the China Office, we already have a professional team of 9 people.Nike Air Huarache We are looking forward to 100% investment in the Chinese market and use professional knowledge to help China, especially Chinese football. Better development.” Lu Wen said finally.
 — unknown

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