poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The Trickster

In high park I saw you
loping by
and tawny
a rabbit in your mouth.
My son was seduced by your wiles
and broke away from my stead
to follow your paw prints in mud.
The way that you looked at each other
when we finally caught up
i will never forget,
old coyote.

30 May 13

Rated 9.5 (9.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (1): 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(43 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


i was given boiled rabbit heads to suck on by my gypsy nanny when i was a child. this brought back those horrific memories. thank you. :-)
 — raskolniikov

Your presence is welcome here rask.  thanks for stopping by.  any crits are welcome from you.
 — Haxxen

do you like 'tool', 'rammstein'?
 — raskolniikov

^^ How the FUCK did you know that???????????????????
 — Haxxen

Tool is my favourite band of all time.  Rammstein is my favourite fuck music of all time (next to portishead.)
 — Haxxen

A response from my son, who is older now...

Chasing Coyotes.

I am tempted by the devilish coyote,
from his mouth hangs an innocent rabbit,
trapped by his cold fangs,
and I am tempted to follow.
Lead to a den,
my temptation leads me to danger,
then to be rescued by my childhood saviour,
to whom I looked up to with great pride,
to call him father.
 — Haxxen

We don't have coyotes here in England but i once saw a fox walking a deserted inner city artery at 4 in the morning
 — larrylark

Nice image Larry.
 — Haxxen

it takes one to know one. tool are one of my all time favourite too. not sure about fucking to rammstein though, i tend to prefer the more seductive voice of dave matthews. are you based in america?
 — raskolniikov

the imagery makes this piece remarkable -- I just keep seeing them staring at each other at the end, what will happen after this standoff, or is it that they're both enamored. Either way it made me say, oh my, eh.
 — AlchemiA

Thanks Alch.  I'm glad the stand off reached you.  that's kind of the whole point.  the trickster and the innocent as seen through each other's eyes, each agenda quite unknown to the other.  It was quite amazing to watch.  Rask, based in Canada.
 — Haxxen

I'm diggin'.  a nice memoir of a chance encounter.  tho' I'm thinkin' you could do without "that" in 9, maybe?
 — JKWeb

Thanks JK.  Actually "that" was added because i thought "the way you looked at each other" sounded like sub-standard English when I read it back, but then when I made the addition, I thought it might have sounded a little stilted.  So yeah.  Good call.  Still deciding what to do there.  May rework the whole sentence.
 — Haxxen

I trymy best my friend ...I try my best
 — larrylark