i have a ball.
it's red and fun.
sometimes i roll on my ball on my belly,
but mostly i bounce it.
it makes a funny noise.
boing, boing, boing.
when i throw my ball in the air and
it comes down and hits me on the head,
it doesn't hurt.
it's a good ball.
18 May 04
Rated 5.5 (5.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 1, 10
Inactive (12): 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 6, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
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If this was on paper, I would burn it. 1
Isn't way past your bedtime?
Made me smile, though!
Dont smoke crack.
wish you had a thought instead
Very limited idea,poorly developed,no poetic structure. A bit of a mess really.
The Song the Idiot Sings:
by Rainer Maria Rilke
They don't bother about me. They let me be.
The say, "nothing can happen."
Nothing canhappen. It all comes and wheels
steadily around the Holy Ghost,
always around that same Ghost (you know)-
No, of course not, one mustn't thing any danger
could come in that way.
Of course the blood exists.
Blood is heaviest. Blood is heavy.
Sometimes I think I've had too much.
Oh isn't that a wonderful ball!
round and red as nothing at all.
Good thing that you created it.
But will it come if you call?
How strangely this whole thing behaves,
into each other driving, out of each other swimming,
friendly, a touch uncertain.
i wish i had a ball. no double entendre?
Hank keep writing. You will go places man.
Well, you've got a talented line of writing here, but it doesn't really go anywhere. Perhaps cf. "I had a bomb" for some inspiration. I think a parody entitled "I had a ball" would be in order, and with your ability, not too difficult a task.
I have two balls!!!
Robbo melted mine.
the idea is great. how it's carried out isn't all that great, but at least it's simple. simplicity is good for this kind of poem. check the spelling. there's also one "on" too many on line three.
all in all i think it makes its own point. just edit the mistakes, try to check your poems a bit more before you post them. nothing like a typo and such to diminish a poem's beauty.
Why I like this I have no idea. Cracked me tha fuck up
this has a 1
you are way cool
wow, i reread this today. and laughed.
me too. thanks.
now it has a 10.
wow this is so stupid and pointless i like it. what were you on, just wondering...
i absoutely LOVED this! l10 is priceless. thanks for bringing some laughter to me on an otherwise shitty day! :)
i just read this again, and now i like it even more! thanks again!
it amuses me to think that I read too much viz
it amuses me to think that you will be seven and three quarters for ever and ever.
either way. this poem should be written on walls in crayon
how did you know that i am 7 3/4? (actually, 7 5/8 right at the point of takeoff)
damn, i wish i could delete that previous comment.
too late i saw it.
you're coming close to being inspiring.
and that isn't always a good thing.
It used to be good to inspire, now it isn't. That makes me sad. :(
you inspired bettalpha roz.
sorry for digressing hank.
7 5/8 in your sky rocket huh?
I'm sorry, I'll try not to do it again. Give up all hope, you're doomed.
my sky rocket goes fast.
"And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away"
Goo goo goes gah gah!
hey hank - I've got you on my "must visit" list. I'm afraid if there's more than meets the eye here, it has hidden itself well from me :( As it reads - it's very cute but I'm left with a kind of "and so?" feeling.
come for a visit anytime.
'and so' feeling is better than feeling bad or sick or tired of the same old shit ain't it?
It is silly but I like it.
It should be accompanied by big bright pages with a line on each page or thereabouts. In fact have you ever thought of illustrating this.....;-)
oom, good idea smugs.
hank, this was recomended reading (thanks be to gnormal) - it was offered as (a fine) example of accomplished writing. We had discussed poets posting work which at first would appear to have been submitted by a simpleton and as such has achieved its goal. - very nice.
Lines 9 + 10 are two of the best I've ever seen.
i think this is good food.
I had a ball once, so i can totally relate to your poem.
or a goof ball.
Every good man deserves at least one good ball.
what the F lol
it's a good ball.
hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what a nice ball
this was a smiley face poem for me.
another fave, this one