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the season of dying

my blood
toxic from diseased trees
I wade through snow drifts
trying to find your tombstone
I enter through the cemetery gate
and see you dancing with angels
I hate
when flowers die
it makes your skin feel like winter

21 Feb 14

Rated 10 (9.3) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (2): 10, 10

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i like this, but i do'nt like lines 7 and 8.  the whole rusted gate and halo thing is cheesy.  i would love if this went a little more in depth, telling me more about who you are, if it was fall, the season of dying would be even that more relatable and visionary, leaving the last two lines incredibly powerful.  

as it is, lines 3 and 4 kind of blow your ending.  in my opinion that is.
 — jenakajoffer

i knew this was yours by line 2, lol.

i forgot to mention that i really like lines 9/10.  but are 3/4 really that interesting?
for me, what you have is a great 4 line ending.  
 — jenakajoffer

did this have a different ending before?
i like it
 — mandolyn

hi jen,
you're right in that there be some cheese and I like your suggestions.  I'll re-think and do some edits.  thanks mucho.
 — JKWeb

yes mandolyn,
I did modify some since posting.   I'm glad you like it.  gratitude.
 — JKWeb

modified a wee bit
 — JKWeb

'nother edit
 — JKWeb

"...a progression in which each successive movement emerges as a solution to the contradictions inherent in the preceding movement." -- Hegel

Change is a seemingly hostile environment to our little cell:brain biology paradigm. Cognitive dissonance is a process where a massive retooling of our synaptic pathways is occurring, often resulting in 'temper tantrums' and breaking things and other 'bad' behaviors learnt by all of our 'bad' education. Yet it is in that very process where neurons coalesce into a new flower of meaning and significance.

This is reflected in these random acts of defiance we're seeing everywhere. We’re living through some very difficult times, and we feel it in our bones, in our hearts and in our minds; this new-paradigm is bursting at the seams of what it all means, and by an internal-fire made of many-reflections of realEYEsed delight, our flowering in-sight, where deep calls to deep, which’ll bend space n’ time ’round Quantum-tunnels flowing within as divine, and then all that matters in this whirl’d-view is that we cross the line, from what is old to what is a new interior-design…

All men make a God of their desire and history repeats itself ad infinitum ad nauseum... nonetheless, creativity is a process of change and an Artist is an agent for change. They'll disturb comfortable-meaning and unravel recursive-cliché by their fierce-vulnerability, by their courageous-authenticity and by having been bent by their beautiful-individuality...the Truth in this sentimental-reality is rolling with these changes of creative-destruction we see everywhere... ‘change the way you look at things and the things you look at change’ – Dr. Wayne Dyer
 — AlchemiA

thanks AlchemiA,
for reading, comments and faving.  appreciate it.
 — JKWeb