poetry critical

online poetry workshop



... ♥-ஜღ¸.·´¸.·¨) there's an irregularity in some people
AlchemiA

I've been regularly irregular as far as I can see, and I've looked halfway across forever today, and still, infinity remains to be seen.
 1
 
 
I experienced an irregularity in the electrical rythming of the heart today -- the event became overwhelming -- and I felt as if I could lose myself into an infinite point -- a resolution -- my dAd, now incinerated by my hand just over a year ago, would've celebrated his 79th birthday last Friday -- so all week I've been experiencing variations on these heart arythmias -- today the UBC Hospital intervened until I recovered from the arythmik cataclysm.
 2
 
 
I was considered an old soul when I arrived, given to irregularities, those interesting juxtapositions of space and time that I make, flickering in and out like that, in the wee blink of a gleam in your eye ...
 3
 
 
I've studied Raja Yoga with a Guru in Chennai India -- he guided my work to becoming what you Love -- once, he told me in a dream that he wanted me to join him in the brighter-world, a descriptor for heaven I suppose -- I was elated then became quizzikal -- have I completed my rounds on this whirld -- I said, no, not yet, for the whirld is too beautiful to forget..
 4
 
 
well the Doctor rythmikally massaged my carotid vein which slowed me down some -- then they introduced some beta-blockers and saline drip while they danced around me with many tools and testing aperati -- the machines bleeped my dismay for about a half hour or so -- then I closed my eyes and for a moment went deep within, I meditated and just then, the machines repeated a regular rythm and the Doctor exclaimed that I had made my own recovery.^.
 5
 
 
yeah, so true, when you're halfway across forever, you've infinity left to do ...
 6
 
 
... ♥-ஜღ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
 7
                      (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`ღஜ-♥ ...
 8
 
 
me with my regularly irregular heart and all the whirl'd  
 9
 
 
radiant with beauty, because beauty is everywhere that I look, and these lookers they're reflecting how I'm so moved from this wonder into awe, making my eyes glimmer with the beauty that I saw
 10
 
 
a flicker and the feeling of an immense moving Sea
 11
and
 12
sweet sweet sleep where deep calls to deep
 13
is still inside of me
 14

9 Apr 14

Rated 9.7 (10) by 3 users.
Active (3):
Inactive (5): 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(39 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

it's good to read more about you, with some lovely renditions ... deep calls to deep.

gorgeous.
 — jenn

~a flicker and the feeling of an immense moving Sea~
 — jason

thank you for the reads -- yes, these 'lil flourishes exclaim my idiosyncrasies; the way I wax 'n wane, fall then fly again -- an irregular heart-bleed presented as symbols that swell in a whirld of time, inner-looped with an ever diminishing return to the quiescently sublime, the peace, that pause between catching the breath, between beauty and death, and so absorbed in that strange descent into the divine.
 — AlchemiA

L9. :)
love that ending too.
i just love the regular irregular, as i relate
let's do a heel click together, alch, on the count of three! :D
 — mandolyn

~click~
 — AlchemiA

nice poem
 — unknown

cool poem. mind if i ask a few questions?

what's with the misspellings? arythmik, dAd, rythmikally, quizzikal, whirld/whirl'd. ..... and that strange ♥~~~♥ stuff. They seem pointlessly distracting to me. Except for: I really like the phrase "have i completed my rounds on this whirld" - it's a very clever use of language. And it reminds me of Berryman, so that's good.

but anyway. yea. other than whirld, there's no purpose to those misspellings. I can't even figure out why ♥-ஜღ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`ღஜ-♥ is important or significant enough to be part of the title.

other than that, i really like the poem. It's a hazy, meditative reminiscing. Really, the more I read it, the more it reminds me of Berryman. or maybe Hejinian. Back and forth between factual prose and dreamy comments and asides.

The 'a near death experience made life more dear to me' is surprisingly well done, but I'd like a little more uhhh specifics? The last line for example is a real downer. It's too vague and abstract to fit such a grounded poem. Maybe that more completely encapsulates the themes of the poem and its characters would work better. Maybe something more about the Guru or the father.
 — unknown

The power of words is their ability to shape and give meaning to abstractions of idea... and by extension how we interact, view, exist in this reality.

The alchemical playful restructuring of words to express or expose inner or hidden meanings within them, sometimes with just a little shift in visual, physical perspective can open new layers of meaning and shape to the world and universe we find ourselves in :)

It's a Magickal formula that is joyously irreverent to formula and rigid structure.

Words are the vocal equations with which we structure reality.

Equations are infinitely expressible variables of anything we want them to be ... and, I think, Alchemia is one of the better re-fabricators of the fabric of language :)

That's my take on the reason why Alch chooses to use these 'misspelling's, though to my mind they aren't misspellings ... they are re-shapings to reveal other meanings hidden within.
 — jenn

thanks jenn, that's sweet writing
 — AlchemiA

nice writing - an authentic response which makes it clear that there's something about yellow that makes me want to smile.
 — unknown

self-indulgent

I

I

I

I

me me me

makes one wonder if there's only lip service to anything more than surface deep
 — looniverse

loony - you're write, the 'eyes' have it, in that look they do, when it's all about the opinion inside of you -- the brain works as a self-referential locus, introverted about where it took-us, while the heart expands from that point-of-view to really see beyond what we thought we knew -- nonetheless it's just a story about my heart-attack 4 weeks ago and the moments that arose from that irregularity ... thanks for reading
 — AlchemiA

Not so beautiful
 — 13fatstacks

Beautiful.
 — Known

0.579s