for three steps it's stones then sand
an ashtray if you look close
not secluded but empty now
riddled with footprints of ghosts
resembling the effect of giant raindrops
it is wide and long and a hundred
paces to the waters edge
where the land slides beneath
slow soft waves that allow a view
of the beach as it continues underneath
footprints vanish replaced by dunes
caused by water movement
leatherbacks lumber up leaving heaps
of sand and tracks like bulldozers
as turtles have been doing since
this shore was roamed by dinosaurs
sometimes i can still imagine them
sneaking up to bite a wedge out of my skull
maxwell's silver velociraptor
10 Jun 04
Rated 8 (7.5) by 1 users.
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line 1: It's (short for It is)
I would rethink some of the punctuation and capitalization.
thanks for the edit. h
i'm letting it roll
Very descriptive,i was there with you on the beach and the ending made it even better.
thanks for that.
I like this a lot. It's basic, it's playful, it's historic and sets a scene that anyone who has gone to a beach can sense and almost taste. Lovely. However -
I have to say that these poems, no breaks in lines, etc, just a lot of words scrunched together, are very hard for me to read. A dyslexia problem, I'm aware, but I have to work at these to get all the way through.
Just a hint for some of you who like to dispense with punctuation and white space. Some of us need it.
i'm sorry, sometimes i just find that punctuating interupts my train of thought.
I love this poem, hank because it allows me to reinterpret what your landscape is.
Line one takes us there and helps us recreate the walk. I can really sense how this place transported you and let your imagination grow atavistic fear.
Wonderful. May I suggest the novel, "The Beach," by Alex Garland?
you give love a bad name.
shout to the heart, you give love