poetry critical

online poetry workshop



sweeper
hank

this cheap broom
 1
fine on some flooring
 2
black and white sounds harsh
 3
that's the bristles, soft, forgiving
 4
good for all hard surfaces
 5

13 Feb 16

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*cough*
 — Known

The cheap pointer
still on the screen
black and red flags,
numbered,

Like hopscotch.
 — Known

yes, i can see this. the image is blurry but the reality is that that any action has an emotion and sensation to go with it. and, as cocteau would have it, who's to say that rubbing your hand across a black surface doesn't feel different and give its own subtle sensations to the sensitive. and, in this poem, how does the sensitivity come to be? the 'forgiving' and 'good' strokes into our feelings.
 — cadmium

You're my third pick by title alone on an annual visit. I'm disappointed. I might as well have picked your cheap old plastic broom up at the pound store for all the character it has. I'm sorely let down. If only it was as a brash as pop art. It comes close to something I'd like or I wouldn't be so mean.
 — bettalpha

I was mean. This has many merits. I read it over and over. And probably got jealous or something like jealousy.
 — bettalpha

no, you're right bettalpha, need to find the child at play again...
 — hank

Your form is still off to me thigh...
 — Known

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