poetry critical

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bog stream
hank

there's a victorian piece of steel
 1
already put together not like the one
 2
that sits in the creek crossways
 3
 
 
water washes wagging algae
 4
bright peaish green over it's red iron face
 5
you'll find only hard trouts
 6

5 Dec 16

Rated 10 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 10

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Comments:

noun, plural (especially collectively) trout (especially referring to two or more kinds or species) trouts.
 — unknown

What a manly poem, hank.

Caught in the drift
Loving it
Dungareez and all,
 — PollyReg

10
 — PollyReg

and so as not to disappoint ....

https://youtu.be/JrdH4ZHTVJ E
 — PollyReg

first comment was mine too. I was going to review it anonymously as well. Fiddle with your line breaks and stuff.

It can be read two ways, right? The first way, without idioms for poo, is nice, poetic. I like the hard trouts, because they would be, of course, living in a bog. Paints a poetic scene and all. Would have liked to fiddle with it...see what it could do.

The second way is crude and vulgar.

I don't see why a lot of poems have to be 1 or 2 interpretations. Its fairly easy to do...I would like to see some of you 'good writers' moving past the two meanings (because its an us against them, good against bad, very common theme) and attempt to move onto the possibility of multiple interpretations

just my thoughts.

what would be even funnier is if they don't call poos 'brown trouts' as a kind of euphemism in your country. Then I would be quite the damn fool, wouldn't I?
 — PollyReg

Maybe "hard" should be "difficult"?

tp
 — texaspoet

never even thought about meaning 1 while writing this poem...or is it meaning 2?
 — hank

An exercise in perception, perhaps? I think you thought about both.

Maybe had a specific reader in mind. "You'll find only hard trouts." So in effect, there is three meanings. Meaning one, Meaning two, And the combined meaning...(Ars Poetica?)

If its obvious to me and I am a dumbass....It's obvious. Subtlety is lost.

Meanwhile, meaning 1, the poetic one, is a metaphorically sound piece of writing....I think the idioms in meaning 2 kill it though. Unfortunately.

I think poems should be this: Meaning 1 soft, Meaning 2 soft, Meanings 3, 4 and so forth shit hard.

Now....If you understood that dribble drabble we both deserve medals.

Have a pleasant day.
 — PollyReg

Imagery is good. I can clearly picture it. (And I don't picture a toilet) I picture a bog stream.

You're funny, Hank.
 — PollyReg

lol -

https://youtu.be/dZFaOd8XL8 E

^ otherwise known (????) as my life as a critic
 — PollyReg

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