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dollar town

"why are you all bloody?"
because i was walking around down there
through the bracken the cacti and the rockiness
"noone goes walking down there"
i gathered that
"do you know where you are?"
no i don't
"you're in a town called Nadur;
they call it the dollar town"...

13 Aug 17

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I love the first four lines, but "noone" should be "no one"; if that typo was purposeful it just distracts from the piece. Also, the ending doesn't seem to justly conclude the poem - a poem with suck an interesting beginning ought to have a more interesting ending, otherwise the reader is left with a sense of staleness.
 — ibwwilcox