poetry critical

online poetry workshop



PC
akiikii

No one is awake; assess
 1
this dusty, abandoned place.
 2
I suspect the ghosts are watching,
 3
poems drop like shelved China,
 4
but they lie, untouched.
 5
The newest sit days upon the former,
 6
before being swept out of sight.
 7
 
 
Vandals have found the neglected walls,
 8
scribbled colorful lists of names,
 9
and piled their trash about.
 10
The scornful but indolent spirits
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cast chilly, soundless shadow stains,
 12
impotent projected shame upon offenders.
 13
 
 
We are M. (Donald) Havishim's haunted home of verse.
 14

6 Dec 17

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Comments:

Surely a talent such as yours can find a more interesting theme. The tumbleweed card has already been played to death here.
 — unknown

Don't be cranky, Pip.
 — akiikii

Sounds like Pip should be your muse rather than a dusty old poetry site.
 — unknown

Well said.
 — dannyprice

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