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My heroin

Self harming is not a joke or ways for people to get attention. This is my story...

The intoxicating feel of blades kissing my skin
This is my heroin
I am addicted to my own pain
Ashamed when seen
New and different ways to cover up
Why should I even give a fuck
Twelve years old that's when it started
Or was it when me and my dad parted?
So many emotions i can not show
All bottled up so no-one will know
A tight burning ball in my chest
It grew the more I went to school
The objects thrown
I just wanted to stay home
The name calling
Body shaming
The tears on my pillow staining
Was this the start of my eating disorder?
Hormonal teenage girl called ugly
Ridiculed for my gay mum
The bullies had finally won
I need this emotional pain to stop!
Physical pain is the key
I relish the fire on my skin
The blood dripping off my blade
The painful ball in my chest starts to fade
I found my euphoria
The starts of my transition
As this day was the beginning of my addiction

16 Jan 18

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(2 more poems by this author)

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