poetry critical

online poetry workshop


the makeup you wear
is your stop
telling who you will
hate and who
you would know.

7 Jul 18

Rated 7.3 (7.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 6, 8, 8
Inactive (0):

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crosstalk would have  been a better title
 — rivergood

you would like to know then it gets 8
 — rivergood

'cross-dressing' is the intent.
 — cadmium

in america we have this saying, "you can talk the talk but you can't walk the walk." my intuition as i wrote this had a vision of how your appearance can't be faked. so, your expressions, your costume, tell people how to deal with you, while you're thinking you're in control. erving goffman wrote a book called 'presentation of self in everyday life.'. your makeup is your etiquette.

you would like to know then that i don't think you know english. it's difficult to believe all your praises and comments, when i'm not sure you really understand the poem. and, worse, that you don't even care enough to ask why something is written and what it means. this is a workshop, not a strip club where all you have to do is act like you're someone and give us a dollar for our poem.
 — cadmium

https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=Yz1Oweu1xAA
 — cadmium

fey minimalist poetry
 — unknown

it was written for site, and i think you've nailed the problem with most of the site. this is a workshop, and i post experimental stuff here. that's how i learn to write. it took a while to get this one even this workable. why'n't you comment on the writing part a little more. teach me how to not be a little faggot.
 — cadmium

in Yiddish  a little bird is for a faggot.
 — unknown