poetry critical

online poetry workshop



once more, for old times sake
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1.
 1
 
 
Love-
 2
 
 
if I can call you that,
 3
ready or not
 4
 
 
here I come
 5
 
 
back from the dead
 6
where I put my plans on the back burner
 7
 
 
..................................for you
 8
 
 
yes'mmm
 9
I am still alive and well
 10
heart beating
 11
and innerhead screaming
 12
 
 
"SHUTTHEFUCKUP
 13
and listen, would you?"
 14
 
 
you're the monkey
 15
on my back
 16
and devil on my shoulder
 17
telling me how it's colder
 18
than it really is out
 19
 
 
don't I know
 20
how to live
 21
with beating heart
 22
and inner ears deaf?
 23
 
 
here, I'll write a facebook post about it
 24
for all my readers
 25
to lurk
 26
and
 27
 
 
well, you can lurk, too
 28
 
 
maybe this time you'll stick around
 29
to watch the ship we christened
 30
sink
 31
.....into
 32
...........oblivion
 33
........................
 34
 
 
your use of ellipsis
 35
held my gaze until this morning
 36
 
 
when in the sunrise
 37
 
 
and the chirping insects of the wild
 38
 
 
were all that kept the peace
 39
 
 
of ten thousand driveways
 40
 
 
and one harrowing gulf
 41
 
 
between our hearts on pause
 42
 
 
waiting for either to move
 43
 
 
and you didn't blink
 44
 
 
while I held in an invisible hand
 45
for you a single hug that could have
 46
 
 
........................
 47
..............tethered
 48
..........this
 49
cataclysm
 50
of an ark
 51
to the shaking and sparking core
 52
 
 
and maybe one day you'll realize
 53
that dancing beneath
 54
discounted roof
 55
you despise,
 56
I was as genuine and real
 57
as you'll find these days
 58
...
 59
.......and
 60
..............then
 61
......................some
 62
 
 
and how I wrote for you
 63
infinite haikus
 64
and tattoos for the soul
 65
that only turn out
 66
as the scars they
 67
really are
 68
 
 
maybe one day
 69
 
 
maybe one day
 70
 
 
maybe.
 71
 
 
but
 72
 
 
maybe if I didn't fall in love
 73
maybe then I wouldn't hurt
 74
like I do over this
 75
like I do over you
 76
like I do
 77
............for you
 78
 
 
do you remember when
 79
I said
 80
"look how pretty the moon"
 81
 
 
?
 82
 
 
I'm sorry for not having already made millions
 83
and not knowing what a mentor is
 84
and for acting like a child
 85
 
 
I didn't realize a mastodon
 86
stood before me
 87
 
 
I didn't realize what an intellectual giant
 88
would have to do with "energy healing"
 89
 
 
rolfhitlol
 90
 
 
I'm sorry I paid too much attention to detail
 91
 
 
I'm sorry for crying
 92
 
 
I'm sorry for believing in my heart
 93
 
 
I'm sorry for saying I'm so sorry, that I'm so fucking sorry it's just a fucking habit like the cigarettes I threw out for you
 94
just habits
 95
I can quit
 96
because I can be better
 97
and I didn't come here to die
 98
 
 
I laughed out loud when you said
 99
 
 
"we need to find you a publisher"
 100
 
 
and here I go again
 101
 
 
changing the subject
 102
 
 
and pointing out
 103
 
 
in a break-up poem
 104
 
 
another hundred tangents
 105
 
 
here we go
 106
 
 
I replied,
 107
 
 
Nah, I'm waiting until they come to me
 108
 
 
because they will
 109
 
 
you'll see
 110
just wait
 111
and see
 112
 
 
I might have to scale the mountains on Mars first,
 113
 
 
but I'd do that anyway
 114
 
 
even if only to prove
 115
 
 
Mars and war are simple, stupid, candyland
 116
fairy tale
 117
bullshit products of the past
 118
 
 
and the future- it's out there
 119
 
 
it's real and made up of the same atomic
 120
structures
 121
of you and me
 122
just like
 123
 
 
base reality
 124
 
 
but
 125
 
 
you wait and see
 126
 
 
I stopped going to war
 127
lifetimes ago
 128
when the epochs of the universe
 129
 
 
made it clear
 130
that it all comes to a
 131
 
 
..................................HALT
 132
 
 
regardless of how many pretty paintings
 133
 
 
or how much gush of magical music
 134
 
 
and hand crafted, bloody, sculptured
 135
 
 
wooden poems.
 136
 
 
you've been attracted to me because that's
 137
just how physics
 138
work
 139
with the kind of density
 140
you confuse
 141
with stupidity
 142
-and gravity
 143
 
 
It's because I'm not just star guts
 144
like
 145
every
 146
one
 147
.......else
 148
 
 
2.
 149
 
 
Yes, love- and that's the last time I'll address you as such-
 150
 
 
I carved out a notch of the everlasting tree in me
 151
 
 
and polished it into a crooked cube
 152
 
 
I made my mark on you
 153

19 Sep 18


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(76 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Enjoyed my first reading of this and will read again. I liked it that you intimate we are the "stuff of stars."
 — unknown

Almond coloured.
Almond shaped.
Her eyes hold in them
the stuff of stars.
 — unknown

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