poetry critical

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Everlong
sylvia

Where am I
 1
But standing right here
 2
Armed with capital letters
 3
Wishing I had a beer
 4
Or two
 5
Or three
 6
 
 
Nightmares last night still haven’t
 7
left me
 8
As I watch the rain
 9
And hum every note to Everlong
 10
in my brain
 11
Along with the phone
 12
 
 
My only source of music
 13
My only combative essence
 14
Cause my hands
 15
Can not kill such pain I feel
 16
 
 
In my heart
 17
A beat is steady
 18
My eyes reel
 19
I roll them to relax
 20
And roll cigarettes to smile
 21
Green and purple
 22
Lucky to a Tauren
 23
Like me
 24
 
 
And I wonder when I sing along with you
 25
If anything could ever be this real for real
 26
Just don’t stop when I say when
 27
And that’s the only thing I’ll ever ask of you
 28

23 Sep 18

Rated 8 (8) by 2 users.
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Comments:

grip lyric. sharp. the caps help express the urgency and need. good poet move. emotionally, this is moving, and, if it doesn't sound fake, 'authentic', as how it only becomes real. good luck, taurian. be the faith.
 — cadmium

You can see the work you have put into this.
Beer, three.
Brain, rain, pain.
Reel, roll, relax, roll, smile, like. All act like glue to hold the whole.

Good effort I thought.
 — unknown

Sorry missed the "here" V1 to go with, beer ,three
 — unknown

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 — unknown

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