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love and suicide

I found your bones
in a bucket-
fertilizer flesh tempted
fish to stare
with abstract eye
weeds grew through
your skull nearby,
off-white and eroding
broken neck
mouth agape,
act of desperation-
agony sobs liquid trepidation
swayed gently
to the fading heartbeat
of adolescence
and I was lost in vodka,
gathering anguish
in a paper urn

6 Dec 18

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Line 3 to 5 means what?

Some big words here obscure meanings or
too decorative
 — unknown

hi unknown.  thanks for reading.  I wrote this quite a while ago so I don't fully recall my direction with 3-5.  I believe it has something to do with the person who committed suicide being a metaphor for a fish fertilizing the soil where their flesh is buried if I remember correctly.  I try not to be too abstruse :) thanks again.

 — unknown

dying in the churned butter
 — percocet

 — percocet

and u won't let me fix your itch
 — percocet