poetry critical

online poetry workshop

peace- for gnormal

forest stick
heavy thick
hunt meat
kill heart
swell fire
turn spit
eat good

12 Jul 04

Rated 5.5 (7.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8
Inactive (5): 3, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(465 more poems by this author)

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LOve it, Hank.
You're the Barney Rubble of poetry.
THis is a WINNER - competition or no competition.
 — unknown

thanks unknown- how do you like "hammer"?
 — hank

The "caveman" speak is interesting, but I don't know if it really makes it a good poem...I can't really decide if I like this or not. Although I understand the effect you were going for, it's way too choppy and doesn't read well.

 — unknown

no, you don't. no, you can't. no, you don't. yes, it does.
 — unknown

I really just don't think that this is even a poem.  
 — TaylorC

It's pretty straightforward. There's nothing really to comment on. It's just.. there.
 — Rixes

i think its clever.. considering the "challenge" i think this is hilarious..
 — mightyjoe

The first thing that I noticed was the lack of rhyme in l4 with 'heart'.   The idea of this is great though.  It has a definite beginning, middle, and end.
 — amy

so caveman. you cheated! *sits in front of fire and grumbles* me hungry. you cook. *flicks whip* scurry!
 — wendz

it's short, it's sweet.  i like it.
 — done

hank, this is hilarious.  sometimes the genius of a poem takes a while to strike you, but i think i finally reached the same wavelength as you.  props for the idea--definitely fitting for the contest.  love that first comment on this one, too.
 — root

incidentally: hank win booby prize. gnormal not tell. i see naked photo gnormal. meat stick no swell.
 — unknown

... so hank no yank!  
 — unknown

this is sweet ... sorry is missed this contest.
 — Bloodfetish

Koooweee this is koooolioooo ;)
 — WildSymphony


 — unknown

I Love this as well simple , effective
 — timbosys

nicely done hank...
pretty similar, yes... the idea is the same i think... mmm
so what was this booby prize anyway?
 — dedication

Great poem. Used it in my prehistory lesson
 — unknown

digest little
heavy belly
acid churning
windpipe burning
lips apart
bottom top
buurrrrpp   splueeeaaat
msitake: cat
 — unknown

so many comments...so little reason.
 — DeformedLion

 — pluto