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this light blue bucket
faded to it
not steel but the handle is
used for water, mostly
and sits at the cistern
where i bathe
it's not too heavy
when loaded, even so
you shiver as it fills
so only go halfway.

29 Jul 04

Rated 5 (6) by 1 users.
Active (1): 5
Inactive (2): 6, 7

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(465 more poems by this author)

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 — unknown

Have you ever read 'My Granite Pail' by Lorine Niedecker? Is this supposed to be some sort of horrible pastiche? Vile and pointless.
 — opal

pointless, precisely. vile?
 — hank

Vile is harsh and I'm sorry - but it appears as a pointless pastiche of the work of at least one great Objectivist poet - I know we learn by imitation and all that, but I took against this - it could be the lower case 'i'.
 — opal

i've never heard of your great objectivist poet, unless you mean me.
 — hank

...and i take it that you are no fan of marcel duchamp's mona lisa.
 — hank

You could have written about love, hate, birth, death etc etc, yet you chose to write about a bucket. You've totally cornered the whole bucket market, an "untapped" resource....
 — silly

thank you silly. i once knew a beautiful person who shares your name.
 — hank

this is obviously
about a bucket.
 — noodleman

ha! this has a six.
 — hank

 — listen

Where does  'faded to it' fit in?

it sounds like you used the handle for water?  

mostly and sits at the cistern where I bathe? <
 — Mindy

With regard to the latter part of my last comment.

What I mean is, without punctuation, the sense is lost.

 — Mindy

simple, yet complex.
foolish, childish, wise and mature.
L7 -- have you thought of the Newtonian reference you've (inadvertently?) made?
excellent little poem.
 — unknown

 — unknown

faded to it?  To what or from what?  
Not steel but the handle is - is steel or does that line continue to "the handle is used for water?"  Punctuation would clear that right up for you.

It feels as if there are some words missing.

I wonder if you should change "you" to I, since you used I in line 6.  It's yourself who is shivering, right?  Is this a public bathing place?

A little hard to follow for me.  
 — Isabelle5

this is a poem about me.
 — unknown