31 Jul 04
Rated 8 (7.1) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (9): 3, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(452 more poems by this author)
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spacing is ur friend, please us it.
use yr noggin yerself
I'm gonna add this poem to my favourites
you're certainly silly
outstanding. the only thing i would consider changing; l2 feels like it needs another syllable
how's that unknown?
I agree with unknown, about that syllable.
i added it. all lines are 8.
Hmmm I really like this, I think the spacing, or lack of it for that matter, really adds character to it. I suppose it could be longer, but that's just me. I enjoyed it :) (8)
Not bad at all, but see how it blossoms when translated into Old Pagan dialect:-
ia map agan tob esure
fo roft heg odst heyn umberm ore
tha nallt helea vesup onth et rees
orgra insof sandu pont hesh ores
you've found me out, i translated my poem from that exact verse! (and i thought the old language was dead and nobody cared).
wtf? you guys are nerds.
hank, you know old pagan dialect but you don't know what 'lol' means?
hank! go back to the f'in' farm nigga!
oh,oh, something happened to my poem. the gods must be crazy...
where is it?
The Gods have ... eaten?
Scroll right on to the end of the road,
Scoll right on to the end,
Tho' the way be long, let your heart be strong,
Scroll right on round the bend.
Tho' you're tired and weary still journey on,
Till you come to your happy abode,
Where all the pagans you've been dreaming of
Will be there at the end of the road. (Well more the middle really)
Harry the Pagan Lauder
lol i thought there was an error on page lol
ohhhhhhhhh scroll right... duh
cool...i think it's good where it is . out of sight.,, out of mind.
sassybnyss, happy now?
i like your poem
I think the last line, drop the s in shores- makes a cleaner rhyme. (but maybe I'm just conventional)
this brilliant, only pagan's will truly appreciate this piece of work!
Spacing is the only thing you need.
I'd be interested to know why there are no spaces i.e. what sort of effect are you hoping for? To me there is a suggestion of infinity - really like the idea that pagan religions thought everything had its own god and how you've woven that into the rhythm of the poem. I like very much,
Sorry - my poetic friend was using the computer before me.
you can really read between the lines with this.
i like it.
Blessed Be. Happy upcoming Lammas, Hank.
great, but I hate the style!
I'd drop the very last letter in the poem.
Otherwise: awesome. Very.