|Writing the Permission Slip to Fall in Love (Slightly Revised)|
It's the bitter end of the bitter cold
That keeps my eyes from leaking.
Instead its all detoured to my memory,
The pain and clutter of dreams and expectations,
Envious day dreaming and inferior prayers are the pale faces of my thoughts.
I hold onto letters of promise,
Overwhelm the gifts of love,
Sleep with dreams of you,
Simply because states of mind are the only states i see you in anymore.
I even pride myself in pretending to know the future,
My award is the look of belief on your face,
Almost like you know it too.
And I continue to sum up the best years of my life with words,
Possibly under circumstances that summing is the easiest way to solve a problem,
Because subtracting you just made things harder.
I just believe I will write my way into your heart,
Like it were the carving in that oak tree,
Somehow planted in your soul.
But all the analogies and anecdotes will never solve the problem.
The fact that today was filled with yesterdays being unacknowledged,
It just makes me feel like I made today an existance to keep the memories fresh.
Everyday just gets harder from here,
There is no guilt on your head, but there is on mine,
And I still fail to figure out why i try.
I wonder why because...
I know where is in your heart,
I know the who is you.
But i fail to realize why things aren't all there.
The retrospect of continually saying 'i love you' means nothing,
It's just spoken words without proof,
But it's remembered when you can show it....
So I write...
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