poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Poetry Critical 2.0

Hey guys, Donald here.

In a few weeks, this site will be 9 years old. 9 years! And I still know some of the earliest submissions by heart.

But, boy. That’s like 102 in web-years. So it’s time for something new. I’m building that something now with my nights-and-weekend minutes (and plenty of coffee). Buy me a cup?

Development updates from Twitter:

Follow @poetrycritical for more!

Random Poem:

Putting My Bass Into Her Song (by SirBoggy)
SirBoggy

Her lips pursed up
 1
as if ready to kiss the rhythm
 2
that is causing her head to sway
 3
as if she had no control.
 4
She, with her play hard to get eyes,
 5
looks at you
 6
wanting to meld in the immediacy of the Infinite
 7
        – perfection –
 8
wants you to touch her from afar
 9
because all affairs of love and lust,
 10
she claims, by the distance she creates,
 11
will be on her terms
 12
her terms alone.
 13
 
 
Her shoulders, relaxed and fair,
 14
move like the ocean
 15
as does her hair
 16
and like the ocean
 17
it calms you, it lulls you, as well as, beckons you
 18
to see how cold it really is
 19
and tauntingly asks, “Can you handle it?”
 20
Her thick, long, black curls, my favorite kind of course,
 21
against her
 22
smooth, soft,
 23
strong, defined, low lighting silhouette beg me to play my bass
 24
a way it was never intended to be played before.
 25
 
 
With each cool note that she plays
 26
in her oh so, quick, to the point, only-an-artist-could-truly-know-
 27
jazzy way which runs up your spine
 28
and stopping your heart on the way
 29
as she strums affectionately
 30
the song that echoes in her soul
 31
seemingly from her to you
 32
and from the rhythm her curves suddenly appear.
 33
 
 
No!  The rhythm is her curves,
 34
 
 
which like the ocean
 35
although placid on the soul
 36
still plays the devil’s advocate
 37
as it demands to know, “Can you handle it?”
 38
“Can you handle me?
 39
Will you walk the walk
 40
and talk the talk
 41
that I give no hint or clue
 42
that you must a prior know and be?”
 43
 
 
I have no time for this
 44
although I’m enthralled.
 45
I will not be mislead for “it”
 46
although the grace of her chords
 47
like a siren call
 48
which I refuse to let wear me down
 49
cause once I’m worn
 50
her curves will all at once
 51
just be round.
 52
 
 
So, I’ll meet you half-way
 53
what the hell I’m intrigued.
 54
I’ll put my bass into your song;
 55
You want to dangle in my face
 56
the fundamental essence of what can
 57
drive sane men to war?
 58
– the very thing I’ll probably never
 59
feel, taste, hold, love, cherish, defend, preserve,
 60
and give my devotion for
 61
the very thing I would never want to own
 62
because you possess it
 63
you flaunt it
 64
it is completely, undoubtedly (and
 65
without reservation or as much admiration
 66
as you think you get from it
 67
and power it allows you to wield)
 68
and solely, subjectively yours.
 69
 
 
Perhaps “subjective” is too strong a word.
 70
As the subjectivity of what I thought was “it” – your sexuality –
 71
which kept me coming back for more
 72
one more glance
 73
one more peak
 74
one more chance to engrave all you features
 75
especially your curves (with respect to the parts not being greater than the whole)
 76
yet make your sweater or your robe
 77
twist, turn, and tangle
 78
like my tongue
 79
or plastic on a stove
 80
writhing around wishing its escape all while knowing,
 81
“Damn, she hooked me in,”
 82
with her curves
 83
on her terms
 84
her terms alone.
 85
 
 
and in the end it was really the fact that she owned “it”
 86
that truly tempted my soul.  However, one cannot be tempted
 87
by a thing one does not love,
 88
so, play hard to get with some other moron, who’ll make my same mistake
 89
and keep your fuckin’ curves;
 90
from now on I will do only as you suggested
 91
I’ll find and meet you in your rhythms,
 92
when I simply put my bass into your song.
 93

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