poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Poetry Critical 2.0

Hey guys, Donald here.

In a few weeks, this site will be 9 years old. 9 years! And I still know some of the earliest submissions by heart.

But, boy. That’s like 102 in web-years. So it’s time for something new. I’m building that something now with my nights-and-weekend minutes (and plenty of coffee). Buy me a cup?

Development updates from Twitter:

Follow @poetrycritical for more!

Random Poem:


The tides of the Universe come and go.
There are so many moons since the last time I looked to the sky, that I honestly don't even know if it's High tide or Low....
Time is still just as condescending as it's always been.
Only this Time has a mask on, with a different face,
the clock doesn't look so frightful. Is that possible?
I've had enough perfect practice to start questioning if I'll ever do this right.
I've had enough.
This time the Liquid dreams bring me to the darker side of my Universe.
I could have sworn that was supposed to be my safe place?
What ever happened to the days where summers were endless and paper planes were still majestic.
Somehow those Thoughts and Feelings were transformed into what they are now.
Or rather, they were deformed and no longer resemble the Happiness and Innocence they once represented.
Now, Happiness IS a warm gun.... what a wonderful line.
Everyone has done me harm, and my Soul is scarred.
Wait! No! What is this?!
Could it be?!
What have I come across? A path apart from others.
Less traveled? I'm not entirely sure.
Was all that perfectly horrible practice in preparation for this?
Wasn't I supposed to have seen this coming? Or was I coming to fast?
Take it as you will, my honesty took it and washed it down the drain.
I don't masturbate into tissues or into socks.
Raw, unedited and down the drain....
Like so many millions of potential heirs, all my preconceived ideas about what this Universe is supposed to be like go down the drain.
Every world I came to was dead.
Maybe I was asking the wrong questions,
maybe I was asking the wrong people....
maybe I wasn't supposed to question the cosmos....
Speaking of the cosmos....
Who is this Celestial Being in front of my Heart?
What right does she have to make me cry tears of Happiness?
Ah my Goddess!
This has to be a figment of my Photo shop.
I couldn't possibly be in the presence of such a Beautiful Being.
Is that the perfume of Hope she is wearing? Why does it smell so rich and real?
She doesn't wear shoes, she'd never agree to walking on Souls.
Hope quaint, a modest Goddess.
So modest she has control over my Soul.
Must have picked me by accident. Hopefully this is a Goddess of the Present that only reads the book of the future.
While the clouds in my Thoughts cover my past, the rays of her light show me the path into the future.
A red carpet of fashionably late Love quotes lead me into the mountains....
It appears that these mountains are Far Above the Clouds and in a place where Tomorrow Comes Today.
I wanted it all and in return the Universe flooded my lands with sea waters begotten of my eyes.
Two small spheres representing the Universe of Reality and the Universe of myself.
One day you see irony, the next you'll see the man in me.
A Soul a million year young. Still crawling and learning how to feed its never ending hunger.
I keep calling out to you. To see if you're there, maybe you'll be listening one day?
I can only call out so many times....
My voice is becoming hoarse and my temper is flaring....
Just before I give up I notice the desert I was just in has turned into my room.
I'm laying on my back staring at my ceiling.
Covered in a freezing dew.
How did I get back here? Why did I wake up?
How long have I been sleeping for?
Thank God you're here my Love.
I look to my side and I see your milk white skin faintly glowing.
My microwave's digital clock is way too damn bright.
Still.... you look like an Angel.
I can feel your heart beating.
The beat it makes is to the rhythm of Love.
Could it be that our Hearts beat for each other?
It been more than an Eternity since I heard that song.
My Soul has grown accustomed to the Silence.
The low sounding beat of your Soul echos in your voice.
The Hopes and Dreams in your mind resonate in your kiss.
My lips quiver as yours meet them.
The sounds of music find their way into my Heart until all I can do is stand in awe and listen to the harmony between all of them.
I'm careful to not disturb you.
I wouldn't dare disturb you. Angel's deserve every millionth of a second of Sleep.
When they are asleep they make dreams come true and banish the evils from this Universe.
Are you my Angel?
Can I sleep now? For real?
I'm scared.... what if when I wake you are gone?
How will I explain you? Will the tears in my eyes, or the shake in my hands be enough?
A hollow ghost of a man will remain once you leave.
I need to keep you here somehow....
What if I let you live in my Universe? I know it's a little cramped, but it's room enough for you. Much more than two.
My Glorious Road to Victory....
I should have known it wasn't literal.
I'll go find my tortoise and ask him what to do.
He'll know for sure.
Maybe next year I'll quit all these foolish Thoughts.
Maybe not.
Perhaps you are here to save me from....
For those of you just tuning in,
I have seen those eyes. The one's that belong to the Past.
The windows to a time of other Worlds.
Where Fantasy coated Reality with foolish dreams.
The Blue Skies reflected in those blue eyes....
The Dragons hiding in the clouds look down upon me.
I don't walk alone.
As the old ideals crumble, break and fracture,
I can see a new reflection of greener pastures.
My companion lets me know it's alright to show Pure Emotion.
I don't have to hide anymore.
My stripes are showing through finally.
A more calm, collected being has come into this Universe.
Strength, Courage, Honor, Intelligence and Love.
A new era of Hope and Peace.
Has tranquility finally found refuge?
Have the mocking blue skies finally given up?
So much blue with no Water.
Dried river beds and lakes crumble before the giant blue sky.
A break in the cycle breathes new Life into the decaying lands of yesterday.
Or maybe those are dead?
Maybe the lands that were Yesterday were destroyed in the Great Fracture?
The lands here and now are not from the past World.
Something new....
Something green.... Beautiful Golden Clouds.
Unique in ever sense of the word.
Alas, the skies aren't always so drab.
Today it rained.
Rained in a world without a tangible atmosphere.
Where trees grow from Ideas,
the wind blows through Memories,
the oceans fill Dreams and where
Love is the only substance that really matters.
I don't know what else to say really....
It could just be the calm before the storm.
I can smell the rain on the Earth.
The sweetest inspiration known to man.
The clouds smell rich with Life.
I smile as I feel the first few drops of change hit my face.
I must be in Heaven.
A refreshing emotion drenches my bones.
Heavy hearts are plump with messages of happiness.
The grass IS greener over here.
You Fuckers.
It was the backwards reversal cover up trick....
I should have known all along.
Upon closer inspection though.... I found some weeds over there.
Maybe it isn't greener? No, it's A LOT greener! I could probably smoke those weeds.
At any rate, at least I can see them, and there are none growing under my feet.
No smog here, just smiles.
I can hear someone crying in the distance though.
Is that the Future letting herself be known?
Must have been another dream.
This one's coming true though....
Love really is a child a thousand years young.
She has a name too.
Let me whisper it into your ear.
oops, the wind took away my voice.
I can picture you chasing the spiritual definition.
I'd start on top of the tallest mountain and work my way into the last syllable of insanity.
It's where you're going to End, up.
The whirlpool in your head sucks down all the humor in my voice.
All the corruption in your smile brings my politeness to a close.
I'm done watching, I'm going to change the station now.
I wont be able to stand you much longer.
How quickly does the weather change over there?
It's about time I sent some lightening your way huh?
Stop worrying about me, you've got something else coming your way.
Stand back before I make your neck snap.
I'm not going to let you ruin this for me.
My voice will fill the throats of the muted.
A silent stare empowers you.
Be a man and stop building your shitty little castle with the bricks of those Beautiful Souls you tore down.
I'm here to make you pay for your mistakes.
You're not the first, and you wont be the last.
I pity you, and I'm going to make you burn for the harm you've done.
I'll pounce on your skull and eat your conscience.
Before you know it you'll be dead in this Universe, and you'll have to wait your turn to try again.
Wait.... where am I?
I almost forgot it was raining.
What a Beautiful night. The cool breeze freshens the wet skin.
It's thicker now, just like they said it would be.
I have a few cents invested in their sensibility.
Maybe if I used common sense I wouldn't have to use all mine.
My Ideas and Ideals are giving way to something wonderful.
The tree I am making is a hybrid.
Eco friendly and full of room for improvement.
A sort of hollow density.
The bark just as the fight.
I'll fight for Love.
A new beginning to a familiar chapter.
One page at a time.
The Earth reeks of opportunity.
I can't wait to see her face.
The dawn of a new age.
Together at last, the Beautiful Destiny and Glorious Sunset.
Would it be a Sunset's Destiny or Destiny's Sunset?
I guess they'll just have to hold each other.
Walking down the Road to Victory.
Once upon a time I had a dream....
No one questioned their Destiny.
I just made it for them.
It was a time with no worries.
Voice were never raised.
Hope was never dropped.
Class was never shattered and trumpets always sang.
There were giant trees and being alone was alright.
You weren't afraid because you were free.
I forgot the rest of that conversation, I think I fell asleep.
My fingers have had some practice now.... they still can't keep up.
They are too frail and too weak.
The keys on this keyboard have  the tips of my fingers tethered to them.
It's an interesting relationship to be honest.
I wonder if the "Scroll Lock" key ever gets jealous?
There goes another tangent.... again.
I'm going to go shine my shoes until I can see the reflection of the world spinning.
I'll do my best to try to lose the days of solitude.
I'm wet with a new tune in my step.
Don't stop my little friend.
You're still free.
Take care of yourself.
"....crimson clouds within green fields.... only a Goddess could have suck a view...."
~Nesshin sama

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