|If abuse is illness then our fathers made us sick.|
Heavy hearted, I think of those heavy handed comments
Blind-minded, they blind-sided your childhood
when he left and moved to the west-coast
when your small heart felt huge hurt
leaving a hole your mother
could never fill alone.
Do they realize
they never meant for it to end up this way?
You were the one who wanted change
And called for a generation to revolt
to rectify the things that werent the
way they were meant to be
Now you serve up your sarcasm
on plates with short order chefs
delivered by big-bosomed babes
who lack any genuine self-love
Do you realize
that you never meant to end up this way?
I still feel great emotion when I think of you,
and I wish that I could divorce myself
from all care for you
But when your name is mentioned, still, it surges up
and it comes back with a vengence.
For I desire a joy for you,
so great that it hurts behind my eyes
so great that it causes me to sit in silence
because if this is how I feel, how must He feel?
because if I express it out loud, I feel such shame.
I'm not supposed to care about you anymore.
And I realize
that I wish it didn't end up this way.
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