|Self Medicated Cry For Help|
I’m not so much angry as I am tired,
I’ve calmed down a bit now, so don’t get me wired.
OK, we’ll talk about it, but let’s have a drink,
I’ll recite comical words, but I refuse to think.
This tiny martini is gone in one sip;
Pour me another and we’ll shoot from the hip!
Just one glass of wine, and I won’t hold back,
Doesn’t someone have a bowl to pack?
While hashing this out, we’ll have a few tokes,
I won’t be a buzz kill, I’ll make a few jokes.
We’ll get off the subject, points will be lost;
The THC smoke will cloud all our thoughts.
Perhaps the booze will make me a bit brave,
And you’ll catch a glimpse of a soul to be saved.
But the second I realize that this has occurred,
I’ll question my judgment, the truths you have heard…
I’ll make you laugh and pour you a shot,
No need to bug you with problems I’ve got.
C’mon sit back down, what’s your big hurry?
You got to make curfew??? Will Mom start to worry???
What’s so important you just HAVE to go?
Look; here’s a C-Note; score us some blow.
Call up your boy; I’ll get you the phone.
Let’s party tonight; don’t leave me alone.
Just stay here with me the rest of the night,
I’m having some issues, I don’t feel quite right;
It’s a downward spiral of shame and self-doubt
And no drug or drink drowns those demons out.
But, oh, how I’ll try; I’ll do more and more;
Perhaps going further than I have times before.
This time the pain may just be too great,
And this time I may buckle under the weight.
It’s honestly not that I don’t want to live,
It’s just that I question what I have left to give.
Like I said, I’m tired, tired of playing this game,
For disappointing outcomes that are always the same.
I’m done; game over—and rather than deal,
I want to go numb; this pain is surreal.
So please, stay with me, do me this favor,
Hold me tonight and I’ll pay you back later.
The jokes are all gone now, I’m starting to cry,
Sassy remarks washed away by tears from my eyes.
If needed, I’ll even beg for your pity;
Don’t leave me alone when I’m feeling this shitty.
Pretend that you care for a little while now,
And I’ll get it together tomorrow somehow.
But tonight I’m going to need some help;
Stick around, have a beer, save me from myself.
(comment on this poem)