Zero 
unknown

"Smart is sexy, but not your kind of smart," she said.  1 
I nodded.  2 
"Excessive intelligence is just repulsive," she deduced.  3 
"Correct," I said.  4 
"If you were a number, you'd be a zero," she added.  5 
Again I concurred.  6 
She never called me back. I don't blame her.  7 
She's too smart for that.  8 
 
So, tonight I am attempting to prove the Goldbach conjecture  9 
or find the six billionth digit of pi in base 23.  10 
 
log_2n 1944 = log_n (486 √2)  11 
=> log_2 1944 / log_2 (2n) = log_2 (486 √2) / log_2 n  12 
=> log_2 1944 / (1 + log_2 n) = (log_2 486 + 1/2) / log_2 n  13 
=> log_2 1944 log_2 n = (log_2 486 + 1/2) (log_2 n + 1)  14 
=> (log_2 1944  log_2 486  1/2) log_2 n = log_2 486 + 1/2  15 
=> (log_2 4  1/2) log_2 n = log_2 486 + 1/2  16 
=> log_2 n = 2/3 log_2 486 + 1/3  17 
=> log_2 n^6 = 6 log_2 n = 4 log_2 486 + 2  18 
=> n^6 = 486^4 . 2^2  19 
= 2^6 . 3^20  20 
= 223154201664.  21 
 
By midnight I had worked out a partial solution  22 
which enabled me to trace my error in log 486 + 1.2;  23 
this should be:  24 
 
4(r^2 + r  j^3) = 28, i.e.  25 
r^2 + r = j^3  7, where j must be odd.  26 
This yields a solution for j=3, r=4 or 5, corresponding to x=12, y=±36.  27 
But there are no other solutions in this branch with x  28 
≤ 100,004, y 2m^2 + 2m = 4k^3 + 6k^2 + 3k  216  29 
All terms have even coefficient except 3k, so k must be even:  30 
let k = 2j  31 
=> m^2 + m = 16j^3 + 12j^2 + 3j  108  32 
Since the LHS is always even, 3j must also be even,  33 
so let j = 2r:  34 
=> m^2 + m = 128r^3 + 48r^2 + 6r  108  35 
Now m^2 + m = (m+1/2)^2  1/4 will always be nonnegative  36 
for integer m, and the sign of the RHS  37 
will be dominated by the leading term for r negative,  38 
so r must be positive.  39 
I can also show that r does not have residue 2 mod 3,  40 
but can't get much further at the moment.  41 
There are no (apparent) solutions for  42 
r ≤ 12,500 (x ≤ 100,001; y ≤ 31,623,251).  43 
 
It may inelegant, but I shall prevail.  44 
 
Another quiet evening with some paper and a pencil  45 
and a glass of chocolate milk,  46 
these equations and a sugar high to keep me company.  47 
Math makes sense to me. Women do not.  48 
Problems can be qualified and calculated and eventually corrected.  49 
There are foreseeable solutions to math equations using logic,  50 
formula and a little perseverance.  51 
I know my perimeters with numbers,  52 
but with women I am almost always incorrect in my calculations.  53 
 
Women bring confusion and doubt and pain.  54 
And I miss that.  55 
I don't understand it,  56 
but I miss the confusion and doubt and pain.  57 
I miss it dearly.  58 
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