|Untitled (For Her)|
If I could dream of her laughter,
If things could possibly end happily ever after
I may not have lost myself
Drowning in nothingness
Wondering if any of it matters.
And all we had was faith and words
Darling for a moment, I believed you cared.
For a moment I felt her stare
But all we had was faith and words:
Our silent and hopeful prayers
In our velvet-tongued under our breath utterances,
In our disconnected sanctuaries
Though all we had was faith and words,
You were, you were my religion
I miss those surreal superstitions.
All at once, everything seems cold
In passion, the civil veneer disappears
And then she leaves, I’m hoping she’ll reappear
In vain I’ll whisper
“My love, I miss our irrational superstitions”
“Darling, you were my religion”
In the night you fluttered in on winds and dreams
And all our hopes for what could be…
I know, I know that you’re out there
I always thought that you cared.
In these nights of throttled desperation
The memories always arrive,
They scream: “Wasn’t it your fault that we could never be?”
I want to kiss you want to hold you
Want to tell you that I love you again.
This wont be easy this wont be sweet
This is mainlining strychnine
When I loved you, when I held you in my dreams
For a moment, I felt Divine
In synthetic memories, in darkest nights,
I’ll see your picture, crystal clear, by the alarm clock lights.
Your picture isn’t there, I’m paranoid in thinking you don’t care.
I’m waiting on a lifeline, reflecting on this timeline
And all the things that we just didn’t see, things that can’t be.
Without somebody, anybody, I’m just another nobody
Why cant we talk about it?
Don’t let it be just another whim-like reflex
I don’t wanna be just another one of your conquered rejects
Don’t dismiss me without reason, I swear with you I felt passion
Sorry about all this darling, I’m just new to thing called emotion
Nights I want to hold you and nights I just want to be alone
Couldn’t they just throw me into the Tigris tied to a stone?
Every now and then I’ll wonder if I’ll see you again
Then I realize that when I saw her,
It was only a dream… my friend.
(comment on this poem)