poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Poetry Critical 2.0

Hey guys, Donald here.

In a few weeks, this site will be 9 years old. 9 years! And I still know some of the earliest submissions by heart.

But, boy. That’s like 102 in web-years. So it’s time for something new. I’m building that something now with my nights-and-weekend minutes (and plenty of coffee). Buy me a cup?

Development updates from Twitter:

Follow @poetrycritical for more!

Random Poem:

remembering tenderness
DeformedLion

to be honest i don't.
 1
 
 
i remember becoming 'william'
 2
who was shoved
 3
into the story
 4
of my name, i am
 5
 
 
memories of colour
 6
slouching "yellow"-
 7
 
 
   the first of the sunflowers and the stripe
 8
   of bee in wonder,
 9
   my mother called me away from
 10
   a swollen hand
 11
   as if nature were more cruel than
 12
   shade.  
 13
   my fingers later would curl beneath
 14
   petals,
 15
   sun-stung
 16
   by your buzz.
 17
 
 
or coming home from school on the august path
 18
when the wind kicks back and i am
 19
another distanced yellow, this time smudged on concrete
 20
slabs, i drew our family in crayon
 21
and it rains tomorrow
 22
but you're there in brightness
 23
till the shade limps in.
 24
 
 
though this is cruel to me,
 25
that i am born and that i have died
 26
that your arms cradle
 27
a fleece blanket with milk stains
 28
so long dried that it seems to
 29
map a crust of youth.
 30
 
 
that is your grace holding me-
 31
a trussed egg
 32
split on chicken wire, like blue
 33
eyes over a coal stove
 34
love has cunted my
 35
memories into scrap paper-dolls
 36
nest on the fridge door.
 37
 
 
blue--
 38
something fainter than simply naming me
 39
as yours, a throat of me
 40
not the cold remorse of your tongue
 41
imagining teeth of the prettiest white
 42
as pretty as horses running paddocks
 43
something clenched as i was
 44
to your warm breast,
 45
though at the time i couldn't pretend
 46
 
 
and my tears wronged you,
 47
you were strange after that,
 48
you plied your hands at crafting nets
 49
from animal bones, told me
 50
we are trapped in
 51
bodies we don't deserve-
 52
 
 
i understand now, you thought life
 53
was nothing more than
 54
a river you could bend.
 55
 
 
you bent my mouth into words
 56
like 'love', like i was a son
 57
you could catch in a jar,
 58
splinter my heart to yours
 59
and make me call it so.
 60
 
 
make me say i am yours.
 61
hard to picture anything
 62
more cruel than being naked
 63
or faultless- a black & white
 64
swarmed by magnet fields-
 65
and it is the same death again
 66
as that memory
 67
 
 
a tense flicker and something like
 68
a sermon of heat as i can still
 69
hear your whimper
 70
on my winter pelt- skinned
 71
rabbit, you told me clean
 72
that i wore my father's jaw
 73
his eyes
 74
his paleness.
 75
 
 
now it seems he was a ghost
 76
you unravelled from picked
 77
threads- you started at my toes,
 78
it was his skin, you yelled,
 79
and you continued to alter with slivers
 80
until i was a blood bag
 81
my hair stuck like straw knives
 82
in your skin- hands so
 83
sticky with his love,
 84
his red offering,
 85
 
 
yet you scrubbed us off silently until your skin
 86
shone. it was like every bit of ugly had drained  
 87
and your heart so maimed with memory
 88
forgets.
 89
 
 
but i sift through colour like seashells,
 90
till the blue returns with its soft memories
 91
and the yellow; bright flame
 92
and the red can be let go- that is you,
 93
with love, my other heart, a storm of whispers
 94
and a fist for this:
 95
 
 
flensed tenderness.
 96

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